The Point in Life

For the last one to two years I’ve been trying to comprehend the point in my life, do I, or am I allowed to give a point of life anywhere? At work, yep work, I see and watch sooo much slowness and mistakes, the whole day constantly living with my inner voice saying ” Yep I pointed this out months ago,” I work with people of no, little or confined experience in a confined, restrictive and very slow environment, and I point out, and I watch, then I can feel the shake of my head when I can hear that inner voice shouting “I did point this out!” but still they can only see their own inefficient ways, they talk…, they doodle…, they avoid work they don’t want do, then they talk again, then they doodle again, then finally they’ll do a little something, then they stand back, puff their little chest out with a smirk….they are a human breed of sparrows. All I can do is look in the mirror and look at my disappointed getting old face and realise, yep, this is my lot and I now have to try and the point of life to go on for another day.

Strange Things Afoot

Great day today, things seemed to be moving forward, but everyone else seemed out of kilter or stressed. Still getting the evil from an ex team member, still that’s what I’d expect from a spoiled person. The strange thing is I’ve always tried to help said person, but when thing don’t their way they’ve always looked for a target, which is me now. Said person has always had relationship issues , with family mental illness (genetic) and is spoiled, giving me the evils. I wonder why I avoided her propositions (I ain’t no looker, but I do have standards) and said no to her when she asked if she could move back to our team room. Gotta laugh though at the people who have to sit near her everyday and listen, poor folk.

Interesting One Today

Top person, tried to put me In a position today, asking why I seem to like a product and could I explain why I think it’s better, so I gave a very potted version of how the specific SANs worked using cache etc… And why this product shone using compression etc… Gave the headlines, wouldn’t have had enough time to explain the real mechanics etc.. We’ll a little suspicious over the persons motives, especially over conversations I’ve had over the last couple of days. Will see.

Man Up

I’ve been quite unwell, stressed and lost. Today I’ve realised that I’m still technically very great, but over the last year I have let myself be pushed around and suppressed, nothing to lose now, so fck those who have suppressed, sorry those who I have let down. Time to man up and get back to myself.

Listening

I need to learn to listen more, I get fed up listening to some, just some people I 9 to 5with ( just one plagiarising fool I have to 9 to 5 beside, nice guy, but doesn’t seem to be able to look inwards ). I need to listen to other close people more, friends and family, I need to push my competitive side back to 9 to 5 and leave the chilled listening side at home. The reason I say push back to 9 to 5, I have been a little down over the last year and when at the 9 to 5 I feel they cannot see what’s in front of them and they act too slow (dim if I’m honest) and as a result I have been pushed over a little. This could be my outlet, I do need to listen and converse with my family more, before it’s too late, we don’t get that long in life really.